The Morrigan can be a right bitch
“The horrid Mórrígan out of the cave of Cruachu, her fit abode… In her role as war goddess she is presented as terrifying, malevolent and linked to bloody battles.”
So there’s a thing I noticed recently where a lot of people called by the Morrigan are talking about Her in Her role as a feminist icon and/or a symbol that some kind of cultural struggle is on the horizon. This is often interpreted as the children, priests, and warriors of the Morrigan being on the side of social justice, which obviously if you’ve read this blog I am all about.
For me the Morrigan is an unpredictable, jealous, childish force of nature who is as likely to throw a tantrum as She is to guide and teach. Especially since Nephthys showed up with such force to unequivocally claim me, She has been a pouty whiny bitch about it. There, I said it. More often than not when I come to Her altar, we fight and argue. She set me on a certain path many years ago and for that entire time I followed Her wishes. I fought to do Her work, even as the madness She values so much threatened to eat me alive. But recently, I realized that I couldn’t continue on that particular path. I hoped She would understand and support me about it, especially because what I am doing now is directly to do with restoring Irish indigenous thought, and helping the indigenous people of the Americas as well. But so far, She refuses to take any appeasement I may offer.
Recently it made me seriously question if we could continue to work together, despite the fact that She was the first goddess to come and claim me decades ago. After communing with Her I felt our bond deepen, instead, but I still feel She is rarely happy.
Sometimes She comes to me so strongly I feel my arms and back sprout feathers as I change shape. Other times She whines and moans and complains, or refuses to speak to me at all. Sometimes, she comes as a Maggot Goddess, a goddess of decay, a creature that brings madness and nightmares when I can’t possibly bear more madness and nightmares. The word malevolent in the quote up there struck me particularly strongly, because She is that.
I feel that She cares about me, because if I have one hard and fast rule about polytheism it is that I will not be just a food source, or a tool, or a pawn. If I sense a god doesn’t care for me, I will employ whatever power available to me to get away from that deity. I see our relationships with the gods as any relationship, just writ large, and no one is allowed to abuse me or inflict their narcissistic garbage on me and I will die if I have to in order to see that rule adhered to. But in fact, if She didn’t care I doubt she would be throwing such a juvenile fit. She could easily be done with me. She’s a goddess and She has plenty of followers. But the strong feminist icon isn’t enough for me and it has never been my reality. I have never seen Her as a triple goddess, with soft maiden aspects, and I wish people talked more about this side of Her.
Of course I get annoyed when people only talk about what horrible sociopathic dicks their gods are too, as if the shittier the god is to you the more cool kid cred you have (this is not about any one person in specific but rather a thing I notice overall in some traditions). But some acknowledgment that there’s more to the Morrigan would be nice!
So I’m kinda flipping you off you nasty old crow, but I’m doing it with the greatest love!